Thursday, July 21, 2011

10 Ways to spice up CBA media coverage

Watching ESPN’s and NFL Network’s coverage of the NFL has been both nauseating and boring but then again, it isn’t all their fault because the NFL has been nauseating and boring given all the talk about labor strife and negotiations.

That said, they could capture my interest during their CBA coverage if the lead-ins consisted of:

1. Albert Breer gets a lap dance

2. Jason La Canfora starts a report without the words, “Like I’ve been reporting all along”

3. DeMaurice Smith has laryngitis

4. Roger Goodell was actually not neutered

5. Adam Schefter’s librarian back drop burns down and is replaced with pictures of Secret Agent Man

6. Bengals’ owner Mike Brown picks up the tab

7. Rich Eisen stops trying to be Dan Ackroyd

8. Highlights of Jerry Jones circumcising that mosquito

9. Brett Favre threatens to sext his junk to all team player reps unless they vote on the deal today

10. Ray Lewis grabs DeMaurice Smith and Roger Goodell by their collars and shouts, “Respect is earned!”

Just sayin’…