Friday, May 20, 2011

ESPN knows fashion like Donald Trump knows hair

ESPN apparently doesn’t know what to do to keep their ample staff of contributors to the “worldwide leader” busy so they’ve concocted a power ranking of the league’s helmets. Seriously?

Acclaimed journalists such as: John Clayton; Pat Yasinskas; Bill Williamson; James Walker; and Paul Kuharsky were asked to vote on the best looking helmets in the NFL. Now keep in mind most of these guys are much more familiar with DQ (Dairy Queen) than they are GQ so their prowess when it comes to fashion probably doesn’t get past the blue light specials at Kmart. They know fashion and style like the way Donald Trump knows hair!

To prove my point, the group’s choice for best helmet is none other than the Pittsburgh Steelers. Now here’s a design that is so creative it was lifted from the logo of the American Iron and Steel Institute. Get it…Steelers…steel?

Creative, right?

And the logo appears on only one side of the helmet.

Did they have budget cuts the year the design was implemented and the extra sticker was viewed as an unnecessary luxury item? Well according to the Steelers were unsure how it would look on the helmet. Even they weren’t originally keen on the helmet yet these polyester pirates from ESPN gave the eyesore their highest grade.

And speaking of eyesores, also among the top 10 helmets is the candy corn dome of the Cleveland Browns; the Bears and their cutting edge “C” (he said tongue-in-cheek) and the Miami Dolphins’ cartoon blow-hole mammal.

Where did the Ravens land in the poll? Try tied for second worst (of those teams receiving votes) along with the Patriots, Bills, and Panthers. The 49ers, Bengals, Titans, Texans, Falcons and Cardinals did not receive a single vote.

I guess these dudes don’t like birds. The highest ranking bird of the five feathered teams was the Eagles at No. 17.

So what’s next ESPN, the top fight songs?

Hey want to design your own Ravens helmet and win? Click here for details!


Scott said...

Stadium Seat Color Power Ranking.

My guess is that yellow is this year's "it" color.