Thursday, March 17, 2011

Adrian Peterson is an idiot

Dear Adrian Peterson,

Let’s revisit a couple of your recent comments which prove only one thing – your head is up your ass.

“If [the owners] have nothing to hide, just give us the information. Why not? Obviously, there’s a lot to hide — these guys are professionals, and they’re maximizing what they do. But they know that if all this information comes out, the information the players want, it’ll be right out there for everyone to see. It’s a ripoff — not just for the players, but for the people who work at the concession stands and at the stadiums.”

You can’t possibly be that dumb can you? Did you really go to class while at the University of Oklahoma and if so, were you awake? Maybe you fumbled your books on the way to class and just said, “Ah, screw it!”

Like many of your peers, all of you coddled athletes, you are delusional!

Anyone who didn’t have the luxury of an athletic scholarship and actually studied and worked their way through school to earn an opportunity for full time employment, would love to be paid just a small fraction of what you earn. And if they enjoyed such employment I highly doubt that they would sit there and whine about their employer showing them the audited financial statements of their privately held companies.

As an employee you really are only entitled to one thing – an honest wage for an honest day’s work and that alone is a blessing in this woeful economy. Or maybe you don’t even realize that!

You should be happy that your employer is making money. Because Mr. Peterson, here’s how it works…if your employer operates in the black, you get to keep your job – one that need I remind you places you in that upper 2% of the population in terms of your take home pay, standard of living and the finer things in life.

Now on to your next brain fart…

“It’s modern-day slavery, you know?” Peterson continued. “People kind of laugh at that, but there are people working at regular jobs who get treated the same way, too. With all the money . . . the owners are trying to get a different percentage, and bring in more money.”

No Mr. Peterson, I don’t know and apparently neither do you.

Slavery (noun): A civil relationship in which one person has absolute power over the life, fortune, and liberty of another.

If you don’t like your job, you can quit and take your life, fortune and liberty elsewhere. You can leave whenever you want and while you’re at it don’t let the door hit you in your hind parts.

If there’s anything remotely close to slavery as it relates to the NFL’s labor strife, the real slaves are the fans. Because it’s us fans who watch the games on TV and sell out the stadiums. We are the reason that companies looking to make a profit – some even privately held companies like your employer who don’t open their books, will spend money to advertise their products during football games which enables the TV networks to pay enormous sums of money to the league owners so that they can in turn pay you your $10 million per year salary.

And yes I know you are a running back and running backs have shorter careers than most other NFL positions and that your mega millions won’t last very long. I get it. I also get that on Monday you will be 26 years old and that maybe you might only play another four seasons.

So what! Then you’ll be thirty.

You can’t find another job when you are thirty?

Sure you can and if you do, here’s a bit of advice. Go to work for a publicly traded company where you can look at their books as often as you want until your little larcenous heart is content.


Anonymous said...

Carson Palmer clearly doesn't like his job working for the Cincinnati Bengals. Maybe he should quit that job and get a job with the Minnesota Vikings, who would probably like to purchase his services. That's what I'd do if I didn't like my job. Find another one in the same field. Only, the thing is, Carson can't go to work for the Minnesota Vikings, because he's under contract with the Cincinnati Bengals, and even if he wasn't under contract with the Bengals, they could franchise him to stop him from going to another team. Carson Palmer has never been a free agent, able to choose his own employer. Eli Manning got all sorts of criticism for refusing to play for the Chargers, but is it really so much that he wanted to have a say as to who his employer was?

What's that? The NFL is one organization and Palmer is really an employee of the NFL? That only stands as long as our government allows the NFL to circumvent our anti-trust laws, the circumvention of which is essential to the NFL as we know it. Out of fairness, this requires the NFL owners (who really are 33 separate entities) to collaborate with the Players to make sure the players are fairly compensated. Working with the players is incumbent on the owners so that they can continue to be exempt from anti-trust laws.

I think as Ravens fans we have an overly positive view of ownership. The Ravens are a classy classy organization. They refused to cut Willis McGahee because they thought doing that so soon before a potential lockout would have been poor form. When the Ravens use the franchise tag, they use it with every intent to sign the player to a long term deal, and not just squeeze extra years out of a player who doesn't want to be there. Terrell Suggs, and Chris McCallister both signed long term deals. Wally Williams didn't but he was such a jerk during the process, and then winds up hurt, that you can say he really turned off the Ravens after the tag. The Ravens have state-of-the art facilities and a well-regarded training staff. Not every GM is Ozzie Newsome and not every owner is Steve Bisciotti. When considering the rules of when players can choose their employer, you have to consider the Mike Browns, Al Davis' and Ralph Wilsons of the world.

If I were the best in the world at what I do, I'd be pretty rich too. I'm not, and Adrian Peterson is.